Why You Should Do a First Look with Your Partner on Your Wedding Day

2023-published

Aug 1

Written By Lily Hansen

A first look can be one of the most impactful moments on your wedding day — even if you might not realize it just yet. Should you have a first look? Will a first look make your ceremony less meaningful? How does a first look impact your timeline?

A couple's first look in the groom's backyard at their Minnesota summer wedding. — *HL Photo*

What is a “First Look”?

A first look is when you and your partner see each other, privately, before the wedding ceremony.

It is traditional to wait until the ceremony to see your partner, however, many couples are now realizing the benefits of sharing an intimate moment together before guests arrive!

Everyone has a lot of opinions on First Looks, and you’ve probably heard different TikTok rants about the pros and cons. As your wedding planner, we love when couples share a first look! Let us tell you why.

A black and white photo of a couple hugging after their first look in the groom's backyard. — *HL Photo*

Why should you do a first look?

Having a first look will ease your pre-ceremony nerves and jitters. You’ve spent all morning apart, and the waiting can build up a lot of anxiety. Seeing one another before the ceremony gives you a moment to reconnect and calm down a bit. You can laugh together, share how you’re feeling, and give each other a lil’ pep talk. It’s a private moment to celebrate your relationship and love for each other (what your wedding day is all about!).
Sharing a first look gives you an opportunity to privately exchange vows. If you’re a quiet speaker or somewhat shy, it can be more comfortable to share your vows just with your partner rather than in front of a crowd. It can also feel more special to share your vows intimately. After all, your vows are to YOUR PARTNER, not your guests.
Having a first look also benefits your timeline, by giving you more time for photos. When you two have seen each other before the ceremony, you can begin taking photos as a couple and group photos with your families and wedding party. Traditionally, if you haven’t seen one another, you have to wait until after the ceremony for the majority of your photos. By having a first look and planning time for your photos pre-ceremony, you have options for what you want to do during cocktail hour – you could take photos with extended family, head to cocktail hour with guests, or make intentional time for the two of you to just be alone taking in that you just got married!

Ultimately, sharing a first look means you can spend more of your day together!

But will a First Look will make your walk down the less special?

The groom in a navy suite watching his bride walk down the aisle during their backyard wedding ceremony. — *HL Photo*

A common misconception is that a first look will "take away from" or "ruin the moment" as you walk down the aisle at your ceremony. We strongly disagree! Just because your partner has seen you already doesn’t mean they will be any less excited, eager, or emotional. You’re walking down the aisle toward the love of your life — they are going to be in awe and their reaction won’t be any less amazing just because they saw you earlier.

In fact, when you have a first look, your partner will have more time to take in your wedding day ‘fit and really look at you! There is a lot happening during your ceremony and it goes by so quickly. It can be hard to take it all in! Sharing a first look is a deliberate time for you to focus on each other.

So, don't worry, when you walk down the aisle later, your partner will be just as emotional all over again! (Read as, if they’re a crier, they’ll for sure be crying happy tears again!).

While we do love first looks, there are a few considerations when deciding if you want to include a first look in your day. We don’t like calling them cons, but we want to point out:

Having a first look isn’t traditional. For some couples, it can be important to follow the tradition of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony. If tradition is something you value, a first look might not be for you.
You will likely have to start getting ready earlier. Adding a first look to your timeline typically means you will take more photos before the ceremony; after your first look, you will often take portraits together, followed by wedding party and family photos. An earlier photo start time means you’ll have to finish hair and makeup sooner, so you can get your dress on and get in place for the first look. Of course, you could choose to move wedding party or family photos to cocktail hour if you’d prefer — chat with your planner and photographer and we will help you determine what will be best for you and your partner!
Lastly, it’s okay if you just want to wait! Tradition and timeline aside, if you love the drama and suspense of waiting, go ahead and wait! Some couples really look forward to the excitement and surprise of seeing each other for the first time during the ceremony, and if that’s how you feel, plan your day this way!

So, is a first look right for you?

If you like the idea of sharing an intimate moment before the ceremony and having some private time together, a first look will help ease nerves and give you a chance to enjoy each other's company without the pressure of an audience. On the other hand, if you value tradition, you can save that moment of seeing each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle. As you’re considering doing a first look, think about what feels most meaningful to both of you.